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Sock Travels 3,000 Miles to Reunite with ‘Solemate’

By June 17, 2016June 28th, 2016Make Believe News, Random/Rants


FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – Dogs and cats do it, birds and fish, certainly humans do it: travel extraordinary distances persevering seemingly insurmountable obstacles of pain, time and distance to reunite with a loved one.

But a sock? The story of this unintentionally estranged pair of beige and blue Golden Toe argyles more than reinforces the axiom that love knows no bounds or species.

“Darn,” the threadbare, hole-ridden hosiery began, as it recounted step-by-step the harrowing 11-year journey.

Stranded in that secret corner of a dryer cylinder, the sock made the remarkable roundtrip from rural Hayfork in Northern California to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and back again. Their journey began within the erratic dryer’s trip to a local fix-it shop. Deemed irreparable, the dryer with the sock still stuck inside was dumped in a junkyard where the appliance was dismantled. The parted-out cylinder eventually made its way via eBay to a DYI repairman in the panhandle state who managed a roadside motel laundermat, where the faded and rank garment holed up for more than decade. Until the fateful day the rogue sock mingled with the underwear of a driver of an 18-wheeler. Hitching a ride cross country to a motel just outside of Hayfork — and against all matchmaking odds — the sock trekked the final miles home on foot.

According to the reunited partner, “My solemate is understandably a little worse for wear, but with a good washing and some TLC, it is on the mend.”

(MBN author’s note: It is true that “Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.” Please check out my satirical inspirations, “The Onion” and “The Borowitz Report.”)

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