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Patron Ignores Salesperson’s Belated Offer to Help

By July 29, 2016Make Believe News


WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – It was a rebuff to all “those darn salespersons who wait till you’re walking out the door to ask if you need help,” Patty Router said, explaining her dramatic exit from the Desiree’ boutique on the upscale shopping strip, Melrose Place, this past week. “She completely ignored me as I browsed through racks and piles looking for my size,” she said. “Finally, as I’m leaving, totally frustrated, the skinny bitch insincerely asks, ‘Can I help you?’”

Router’s reaction to her perceived slight was to pretend she did not even hear the salesperson. “It was harsh, I know, but totally spontaneous and appropriate I think in retrospect,” she said. “Maybe she won’t be so lazy or rude in the future.”

Shop owner Desiree’ Moncrieff later confirmed the incident, noting that henceforth all employees will be given training in customer sensitivity and conflict resolution. “Our goal is to neither provoke nor condone uncouth decorum from any tourist, irrespective of size,” Moncrieff said.

(MBN author’s note: It is true that “Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.” Please check out my satirical inspirations, “The Onion” and “The Borowitz Report.”)

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