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By May 22, 2018Longevity

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twain

If you’re one of those people who think aging does matter, and who doesn’t want to be too obvious about getting older, here are 20 things to watch out for — some of which are predictable and avoidable, others unfortunately are inevitable:

  1. You reach your destination and fold up your map.
  1. You offer “really good quality” clothes you no longer wear to your kids.
  1. You begin texts to your kids, “Remember when …” (and to people your age, too).
  1. You lament, “It sucks getting old” and “I wish I would’ve …”
  1. You make prints and albums of your travel photographs.
  1. You consolidate trips up and down staircases.
  1. You can see your nose, without a mirror.
  1. You stagger your two “errands” throughout the week.
  1. You still subscribe to the print edition of the local newspaper even though it now features more obits than news stories, and no longer carries the baseball box scores.
  1. You lean forward to listen, lean backward to read and lean on things to rest.
  1. You plan one day to restore an old Karmann Ghia.
  1. You have a check book and, worse, write checks in public.
  1. You lie about being at Woodstock and younger people believe you.
  1. Your legs have more random spots and bumps than your cargo shorts can cover.
  1. Your dad made you adjust and hold the TV antenna.
  1. You are annoyed when Starbucks baristas misspell your name.
  1. You keep your landline because … and you answer “Unknown Caller” calls because …
  1. You remember when you could board from the front or back of airplanes at airports besides Burbank.
  1. You take a leak like you’re transmitting Morse code.
  1. And, you respect time as the “great equalizer,” end all phone conversations with love ones with “Love you,” and value the aging experience.


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