How To Not Show Your Oldness

Stuart Greenbaum

Everyone is aging; some of us just have more experience. Yet, for better and worse, growing old is as inevitable as it is unpredictable. As one of the some — with decades of personal and professional experience — I can attest it takes determination to make the most of the aging process. Having reviewed countless expert recommendations and too many self-deprecating observations on oldness, I humbly submit this list of what I consider to be sensible dos and don’ts to encourage healthy, purposeful longevity:

1. Do not bemoan prices now compared to back in the day. It’s inflation and boring.

2. Similarly, avoid starting sentences with “I remember when …” or “I used to be able to …”

3. Think optimistically about longevity. Research shows people with a positive perception about growing older live on average seven and a half years longer than those with negative attitudes.

4. Share your (years of) experience, but always try to make your stories more relatable than nostalgic.

5. Do not accept doctors dismissing a health issue as “aging.” Aging is not a diagnosis or disease. Such indifference inches you closer (psychologically at least) to degeneration and death.

6. Remember, every one of every age forgets. The more years and memories we bank, the more accounts we have to sort through to make a withdrawal.

7. Be attentive, curious and current. Stay open-minded and interested.

8. Listen to new music. Some of the best is derivative of or influenced by your favorite “classics.”

9. Dress in style when it suits you. Conversely, take advantage of trends that turn your old clothes into “vintage” wear.

10. Remind younger people that your life experience, in contrast to theirs, includes being young and old.

11. You are not irrelevant or invisible. You are prejudged, however. Upend biases with unexpected behavior, observations, conversation and comments.

12. You are a forecaster for the wellbeing of future generations — a “canary in the coal mine.” Advocate for services, care, respect and dignity that will influence positive longevity for all, for years to come.

13. “Repurpose” your life. You may retire from employment, not from life. Give a motivating label to what comes next.

14. Get rid of stuff. Do not dump the burden (Why the heck did she/he keep this?) on your family to clean up after you.

15. Don’t be impressed (or flattered) by doing something (creative, clever or cute) at your age.

16. Don’t use old age as an excuse to be rude, opinionated, prejudiced or fart in public. Such bad behavior perpetuates stereotypes.

17. The mental health benefits are three-fold and timeless: the beforehand anticipation, the actual experience and the memories (sharing stories and photos).

18. Every night, plan something worthwhile to do tomorrow.

Mark Twain observed, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Growing older is full of challenges — acceptance and optimism among the most profound.

Stuart Greenbaum is a public relations counselor and author. He has represented multiple institutions and initiatives promoting healthy, purposeful longevity. Also, he is the editor of several books on the subject, including Longevity Rules and Media Takes: On Aging; and is a former Governor’s appointee to the California Commission on Aging. His recent fictional novellas — Big Air & Eight Smaller Fictions and Humble Sky — feature satirical takes on older characters and the aging process.